May Self-Compassion be Your Priority

Many people think that self-care should be the number one priority. I agree it should be high on everyone's list.

But I would argue that self-compassion should be given even higher priority than self-care. Why?

Because self-compassion is what makes you aware that you need to care for yourself, when you need it.

Kristen Neff, a leading researcher of self-compassion, defines it as having 3 parts:

1. Recognising that you're suffering or struggling with the pain of something

2. You are not alone in your suffering because it comes with being human

3. You want to do something to reduce your suffering

Without self-compassion, self-care is a habit. While having a self-care habit is a good thing by itself, it can also seem like a chore, or something that you know you should do or have to do when you aren't experiencing it as an act of compassion or love towards future-you. Think about it - do you exercise to give to yourself (eg, joy or health) or because "it's something I'm supposed to do"?

Also, self-care is such a broad concept that it's easy to buy into someone else's idea of what self-care is. You end up applying it to yourself without really knowing whether it's doing you any good. For instance, you could go to the gym or go jogging because these are commonly used examples of exercise and exercise "is good for you". But if you're recovering from a recent illness, physically exerting yourself is likely to stress your body out even more and end up doing more harm than good in the long term.

When you are self-compassionate first, you're present to the pain or discomfort you're going through, aware of what you need to ease it and motivated to do something about it. It'll often turn out that what you need to ease your discomfort is to do something that's caring and nourishing for yourself. It's the opposite of pushing through the pain.

Self-compassion turns self-care from a item on your to-do list into all the things you do to show yourself that you care about you. Make it a priority and you're more likely to make your self-care a priority too.

If you'd like some guidance to develop your self-compassion, reach out and I'll give you some tips and resources to get you started.

#selfcompassion, #selfcare , #priorities, #towardsyourcentredself , #vanspath